Looming 50 @ 150… (Years and Kgs that is)

Buckle up for another ride Fatman!!! ( dada-dada-dada-dada FATMAN!!!)-( sung to Batman tune)
And if you’re on a Virgin flight–suck it in harder–that’s it…
a little more…come on…your kidneys can take it…
CLICK! Done. Nice.
There’s nothing worse than having to ask for that f@#ken extension seat belt.
Is there?
The up in the air waiter/tress person thingy, pretend to be all like, sympathetic like you’re some sort of disabled person ( not that there’s anything wrong with that….)
And then they pretend to be all like discreet as they wave it above their heads down the aisle when they bring it to you..
And there’s nowhere to hide.
You’re too fat.
For this seatbelt.
Which presumably someone has engineered to restrict and contract based on normal people.
Not fatties.
And what’s worse is when one plane is a mm or two less than another…and you feel like saying…I don’t get it!! I didn’t need it on the way here!!
Instead you make a joke…that’s right Fatman…put yourself down before anyone else does…It’s got you through so far.
I digress.
Like I always do.
The prospect of 150 @ 50 which I will show you in a minute is statistically like, 5 minutes away, is doing my head in…especially when I was tracking at 110 @ 48, after being 193 @ 42…which was the turning point.
You guessed it.
I’m a weight GAIN expert. NO ONE….can put on weight like I can. I’m a weight gain machine.
I can show you step by step, how to gain 10gms a day. Doesn’t sound like much hey? Mate, that equates to 36.5 kgs a year. Faaaaark…it just occurred to me…that after 10 years…faaaark….
Buckle up Fatman.
You’ve done it before…you can do it again.
cropped-fatman.jpg

Advertisements